The world has romanticized the whole idea of military relationships. But I guess the reason for it helps with the harsh reality of what is like being in a relationship when they are in the military. You are not in just a relationship with the person but with the military as well.
You better get used to spending a lot of time alone and coming in second… well to the country. But you really cannot complain. How can you? They are out there protecting you and the country you oh so love.
I’ve been in military relationships before but never fully experience the journey of becoming an actually military girlfriend…until now. Let me clarify that it is still romantic. How can you have a relationship without the romance? The only difference it is not like the romance you see in the movies.
When being an army girlfriend, you don’t always know what time he will be home or when you will be able to talk to him because he is so busy at work. Prepare for work talk all the time and phone calls throughout the night or day. There are no days off. He works full time and when I say full time I mean 24/7. There will be days that he will have to bring work home with him, so get ready to give him his space and wait for him to finish. Maybe cook some dinner or clean around the house so he is not distracted by you. Sometimes, he will be so stressed and you may feel like his anger or frustration is directed at you. Don’t worry it is not. He just had a long day at work and has a lot going on. You will sometimes barely see him for days or months at a time… and I’m not talking about deployment. He is going to have training, field work, or be on duty. He will barely have time to talk, won’t have service, or will be busy for almost over 24 hours at a time. Then, there is deployment…. it will happen, but do not worry, he was trained for this and let me tell you it is not romanticized like the movies. This is real life and happening to you both. Support him and make sure that you can handle this because it is not fair for either of you if you cannot stand by his side through it all. And on more thing, if your person is anything like mine and is ambitious and constantly wants to do better and be better, be prepared for him to be focused and that focus not being all on you. He will see his goal in sight and will be so narrowed in on it. I’m not saying he is going to forget you, but I am saying that you will not be his number one priority.
This will be even more tough if you are in college. You’re gonna be stressed and this relationship will stress you as well. Becoming an army girlfriend in college is another story because you are still figuring things out for yourself and working on yourself. He will still be there to support you, but it won’t always be at the times you want. When he can’t give you that attention or be there to talk when you are failing a class know that he still cares and supports you. He is just not physically able to or able to talk and comfort you at that time. You will have to learn that sometimes you have to cancel that party you wanted to go to because he actually gets a weekend off or not go out that night because that night is the only night he can Skype. Sometimes you will have to sacrifice sleep just to get that extra time to talk. It will be tough finding the balance between school and your relationship, but after trial and error you’ll get the hang of it.
Becoming an army girlfriend is lonely at times, but let me tell you when you are in that persons arms and you do have their undivided attention you will be reminded of how those lonely nights or the short little phone calls are worth it for this moment of complete happiness. That moment being with the person you love is the only place you want to be. You will become stronger and it will be hard at first and throughout your relationship. Those insecurities are going to surface and you will continuously doubt yourself and your relationship. That is normal, but just remind yourself of those days and that this is the life you chose and make sure it is the one you want. Nothing worth it comes easy. This will definitely take hard work, lots of communication, and trust.