Yippee for pool days, FaceTime, and Pizzaaaa! Yumyumyum!
I spent the day with a couple friends at the pool! It was nice to relax and feel the sun warming me! Even though I was with friends, I sat there and still felt alone. I was stuck in my head and focusing once again that hottie was gone. I think that is my biggest issue, I was focusing on it too much. Then I ordered pizza from our favorite pizza place…papa johns lol But right as it was delivered I got that great ringtone telling me I was getting an incoming FaceTime. I was so happy to see his face again. It will never fail for me to not smile when I see his name on my phone.
I got to talk to him again… this time was him telling me that his timeline was moved up and that the location he was to go to (lets call it Triangle) he was leaving for the next day. It sparked my fears again. I wish it didn’t but it did. I could tell myself over and over again that everything is going to be okay but it’s not going to stop that thought buried deep in the back of my mind begging to be released. I knew the day that he would have to actually go on missions and what not, but I thought I had more time to fool myself. To think that he was going to stay in that area they call the “vacation”. I wanted more time so he would have less time in Triangle. When finding this out I was crying once again. But I’m glad I did. Seriously y’all if you gotta cry. Just cry. Let it out. Or else you’re gonna hold it in and then one day it’s just gonna come all out and you’ll be curled up in a ball crying for hours at the worst possible time. After crying I felt relief and let all that go. I was able to regroup and reassure myself once again.
After all the late nights and crying, it finally caught up to me. I was so exhausted and drained that I was getting the worse headache. I haven’t felt that way since college and stayed up for 48 hours studying for finals! I passed out for the night and actually slept with no dreams or anything.
For those wondering. Yes I do still send him fifty million memes throughout the day and text him even if he is not answering and tell him bad puns because I have an obsession with puns. I do it because I don’t want things to change or for him to feel like they are. I do it because even though he acts like he’s so annoyed by them or doesn’t even pay attention to them I know he loves them because it reminds him that I am thinking of him and that he is constantly on my mind. And it makes him happy. And that’s what I want for him. To have a piece of happiness while he is over there, to provide him with that since he is providing for our household and is protecting our home!